The World Ends With Me
by Pashiki
Summary: When Makoto died he was left with two options. One was to disappear forever, the other one was becoming a grim reaper. He chose the second option, hoping to get another chance to live again. However, he finds himself at loss when he can't remember anything about his former life and the job isn't quite as easy as he thought.
1. And so it begins

Hello everyone! This is my second fic in the Free! fandom and it's going to be long just like my other. I planned to finish writing it before I posted it and just call it a oneshot, but I realised that it would need to chaptered. There will also be more characters from the fandom in later chapters. Rating might go up and pairings will be added after time :)  
>Anyway, this is a story about grim reapers, soulmates, angst and more. Just bear with me and if it gets confusing I'll try to do my best to explain it (unless it will be cleared up in another chapter) Thoughts on it is very much appreciated :)<p>

* * *

><p>When Makoto died he got two choices; either he could start working as a grim reaper, or he would disappear completely from the world. Apparently the whole 'heaven and hell' thing was in fact something that man had made up and therefore that wasn't even an option. Of course, the thought of disappearing forever was terrifying, even more so than the fact that he was dead. Almost as in panic he agreed to take the job, with a smudge of hope that he might be able to live again someday. As soon as he signed the contract though, all of his memories from his life were erased.<p>

They told him it was better that way.

In no time at all, he had his first job. One of his colleagues, Kisumi, accompanied him to it. It had been a strange experience, standing in a bedroom of a dying old woman, without being noticed. Kisumi had patiently told him things that was necessary to know while the woman wheezed out her last breaths and suddenly the bedroom was gone, replaced with an empty, old-fashioned coffee shop. While Makoto had been prepared for it he was still startled, but not as much as the old woman who sat opposite of him. She looked around her and when her eyes landed on him and Kisumi, a sad smile found itself on her.

"Let me guess. I'm dead, right?" she said softly as her hands cupped a coffee mug that suddenly appeared. The words weighted more than Makoto had realized and even though she already knew the answer he couldn't confirm it for her.

"That's right. You're dead." Kisumi, who sat calmly beside him replied with a kind smile. The woman looked down into her coffee and mumbled a bit to herself, but her smile didn't falter. She must have known that it was her time but Makoto still couldn't help the lump in his throat or the stinging in his eyes.

They sat in silence for a while, Makoto glancing over her time and time again. Her wrinkled face looked oddly at peace considering the bizarre situation they were in, but Makoto saw another thing he couldn't keep his eyes of. From her left side, where her heart lay, a small orb of light that looked worn out and charred emitted light.

He had learned about souls before he was put to work, how everyone's looked different from another, but he hadn't been prepared to see it so vividly. However, he didn't have much time to think about it before he was nudged by Kisumi. He expected him to wrap it up. Slowly he tried to collect himself and then said her name. She looked up to him with a calm expression.

"You now have two choices. One is that your soul will be kept with us until it seize to exist. In other words," he took a shaky breath, on the edge of a sob but when the woman only nodded at him, still as calm and collected as she probably had been all her life, he continued. "you will disappear completely, no chance of returning. The other option, is to be reincarnated." he finished and gave a small glance towards Kisumi, who didn't meet his gaze.

The woman however twirled the still full cup in her hand, obviously considering both possibilities. With a small sigh she once again met Makoto's eyes.

"My life has been very good things considered, but I have no wish to live again. I don't want to be reborn. I want to disappear." the last words came out in a whisper but they were loud and clear in the empty room. Makoto was surprised at her confidence but Kisumi didn't bat an eyelash.

"Very well then." Kisumi suddenly said and smiled at her before he leaned forward and gave a small peck against her forehead. Slowly the woman started to fade away, until only a small sphere of light remained, the woman's soul, which Kisumi collected in a small glass jar. It was over so quickly that Makoto didn't even realise that the coffee shop was long gone and they were back in their bright office.

"See, that wasn't so bad? The older ones are usually the most calm about it. But this was the only time I will help you. From now on, every person you are assigned to help, you'll help them alone, okay?" he said cheerfully as he grasped the jar harder in his hand and walked away his room on the other end of the hall.

Makoto had too many questions. He wanted to ask Kisumi what he should do if he couldn't handle it. Why they collected the souls even though they hadn't a purpose of keeping them.

Why his two options had been different from the old lady.

* * *

><p>Eight years had passed since his first day as a grim reaper. Most people just looked at him in wonder when he told them who he were and why they were there. The old idea that one should wear a black cloak and a scythe as a grim reaper was getting too cliché to hear nowadays, and regardless of what option the people chose he still felt guilty of his job. It wasn't like he had a choice anyway. His contract was set for literally an eternity and as a grim reaper he couldn't die, apparently.<p>

He wished that he could set aside personal emotions when he did his job. He wished he could be as cold as Sousuke and not feel a thing, as bright as Kisumi and just be happy to help them. But the only thing he could feel when he set a soul loose or sent it away to be reborn, was sadness. When he had been there for almost a year, he learned that all souls were collected and put in a storage. The ones who were to be reincarnated were kept in a room until they found a body that would work for them. Usually they could send them away after only a few weeks, but some souls were in there for years.

The the souls that was meant to disappear were kept in a separate room in jars and Makoto still didn't know why, nor did he have permission to go in there. When he asked around his colleagues none of them wanted to answer and told him that he wouldn't find out until he had worked for over fifteen years.

Makoto had only worked eight years but he had already seen the same soul twice. The poor little girl was younger than the first time, had a different name and appearance, but her soul was still the same. His heart ached when he had met up with the five-year old brunette, who had no clue why she wasn't living any longer. Just remembering that her name was Chigusa from her first visit made it worse and he couldn't handle it and called in Kisumi, who only protested a little. He might have been the one to tell Makoto to help his own people, but he still loved to help children make their decisions.

It was easy with old people, explaining the situation and giving them their two options. It was never easy with children.

Which is why Makoto was feeling anxious when he saw the papers in his hands. Before he even could collect himself, he was in place. It was always horrifying, watching a human die. No matter how many deaths he saw he would never get used to it. This time, it was a young boy with black hair and pale skin, struggling to get to the surface in the water. He couldn't have been more than twelve years old and was now drowning in front of Makoto and he could do nothing to stop it. Another boy wasn't that far away and were swimming towards the scene, yelling out the boy's name. However, Makoto already knew it was futile and he felt bad for the other who would probably live with this for the rest of his life.

He watched helplessly as the dark-haired boy finally gave up, no more air in his lungs or strength in his arm. As the body stilled and the other red-haired boy reached the lifeless body, the scenery changed. Though the deaths were always painful for Makoto, he didn't want to think about the ones who actually knew the dead. He couldn't even imagine their sorrow.

Makoto looked around him. When the person died, the grim reapers had decided that their options would be presented in a familiar place. Most people's subconscious presented their childhood homes, forests, their schools or even a public place that meant a lot to them. The boy's subconscious showed a large outdoor swimming pool, the sun set high in the sky and the water clear as glass.

It was all an illusion of course, but Makoto found it beautiful.

The boy suddenly stood in front of him with a shocked expression on his face, his clear blue eyes wide open. Most of them didn't realise they were dead and it was obvious that he hadn't.

"What happened to me? Who are you?" the boy eventually managed to croak out. However, before Makoto could answer him, the boy froze. He was used to this kind of reaction and calmly stepped forward a few steps, crouching down so he could look the other one in the eye.

"Don't worry about it for the time being. What is your name?" he gently said with a smile on his face, though he wasn't sure how about genuine it looked. Of course he already knew the boy's name, it was always written down when he got his papers, but the dead ones always preferred to say it themselves. With only a little bit of hesitation, the boy opened his mouth again.

"Haruka. My name is Haruka." he said and looked around him quickly. "What happened?" he asked once again, a little bit calmer but still on edge. Makoto felt his smile disappear. He always tried to stall that question, even after eight years of telling the same thing. However, when the dead ones started to panic and demand to know what was going on, his job became nearly unbearable.

"You were swimming in the ocean," Makoto started as he memorized what the paper had said. "and you got cramps in your legs and you drowned. Do you understand, Haruka? You died." he waited for the little boy's reaction as it was always unpredictable. "I'm sorry." he added quietly, honestly apologetic. Haruka however didn't seem to get scared or even angry as most of them became, instead he just seemed sad. It looked like he was trying to speak, a bit hesitant before he finally managed to form words.

"Oh." he said when it sunk in, almost in surprise, though there was no real emotions behind it. It would have felt more in place for him to say "Is that so?" in that tone instead, but Makoto didn't say anything about it.

"Is... Is Rin okay?" Haruka mumbled in question and Makoto vaguely remembered the other boy in the ocean. The boy would probably never be alright after witnessing his friend's death, but he was certain the boy wouldn't die yet. Therefore Makoto nodded at Haruka in reassurance and the boy visibly relaxed.

Silence settled between them. The boy was probably still confused but to Makoto it seemed as if he didn't worry about anything else. The dark haired boy hadn't asked about his parent's yet and for some reason Makoto believed that he wouldn't.

"What now?" Haruka asked after a while, a more curious tone than he had before which actually surprised Makoto. He had never helped a child who had been so calm before, and he was at loss of what he should do. The calm blue eyes of the boy rested on him as he patiently waited.

"You get two options." he composed himself, stood up and put up two fingers. "One is that you let go and stops existing. The other option is that you are reborn. You will live again but you won't remember anything about who you are now." he wasn't sure how much the children understood of the two options, but Haruka simply nodded.

"I choose the second one." he said without an ounce of hesitation. No further questions, just a determined expression. Though Makoto hesitated a bit, he still bent down and leaned forward to give the boy a small peck on his forehead and watched as the boy faded. When only the soul remained he collected it and couldn't help the lingering melancholic feeling. The boy had looked at peace but Makoto had during his years started to question if anyone was really happy. Was he a good person for helping them or a bad person for only giving them two choices?

He didn't know, neither could he do anything about it.

The swimming pool disappeared into thin air and the bright sun transformed into the bright lamp in the endless corridor at his workplace. In his hand Haruka's soul laid in a small glass jar which now had an etiquette, stating when and where he would be reincarnated. It would be a couple of years until then Makoto thought, as he entered the unlocked storage room. He put down the jar on the spot of the shelf where the boy's name was written and walked out of the room, not sparing a glance at the empty spots.

Just as they made their choice, their names were placed on the shelf and then the only thing left was to wait. Makoto wondered what happened to the other souls, but he knew by now that asking was futile. He always gave those souls to Kisumi or any other that could access the other room. He headed over to his workstation to calm himself down. He didn't know when he would be sent out again and he desperately wanted to just call it a day, but it was still to early to be excused.

Just as he managed to sit down on his chair in front of his simple desk, Sousuke stopped in front of him.

He didn't know much about Sousuke, other than what he'd heard from Kisumi. Apparently the tall male in front of him had been here for over a century and never lost his cool, no matter the situation. Under the eight years as a grim reaper, Makoto had never seen him smile, but considering the job they did he wasn't all that surprised.

"Want to take a break?" Sousuke nodded to the break room. Before he could agree the taller one was already on his way and Makoto was quick to follow. The usually chatty and loud break room was at the moment empty, too early for a real lunch break and most of the staff were on the field. With a small sigh Sousuke placed two cups under the two different coffee machines and pressed the buttons. At the same time, Makoto sat down at the table in silence, listening to the rustling and hums from the machines.

The sound died out and a cup was placed in front of him. The coffee was black and Makoto silently placed two sugar-cubes in it and stirred with a plastic spoon. Sousuke sat down across from him, seeming to contemplate something. He vaguely wondered why the taller, dark-haired man had suddenly decided to take a break with him, who he hadn't spoken more than maybe three words to at most. The silence was broken by a cough from the other and Makoto moved his gaze from the table to the teal-coloured eyes that looked back at him.

"That boy you helped today, he will be back again you know?" the taller man's gaze didn't leave his and Makoto simply nodded. He knew that by now and Sousuke knew that as well. Was that the reason he wanted to talk to him? However, he wasn't finished and after taking a sip of his coffee, he spoke again.

"It's not the first time I've seen his soul around. He rarely makes it past his teens, be it from accidents like today or health problem." Makoto swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and lowered his gaze back to the table. Why was he telling him this? Everyone in the office knew that he didn't want to talk about the souls he was assigned. He found it easier if his connection with them were kept as small as possible, because it was hard enough for him as it was. Just by knowing their name was painful enough for him.

"The point is, you have nothing to do with it. You don't cause their deaths, they do that well enough themselves. You simply allow them to choose a last time what they want. That's your only job. Do you understand?" Sousuke finished talking and put his mug down, eyes never leaving Makoto, as if to make sure would understand. Of course he understood that, he just didn't know how everyone else could take it so calm. All of the others had been here longer than Makoto. Where they just used to it?

A small creak came from across the room as Sousuke pushed back his chair and collected both of their mugs and placed them in the sink, Makoto's practically untouched. He didn't look up as the taller one stopped by the door and turned around, nor when he opened his mouth to add a last thing.

"Don't get attached to them, it will only get worse." he mumbled and then he was out of sight, back to his own desk probably.

For a few minutes, Makoto just sat there, to caught up in his own thoughts that he almost didn't notice when someone put some papers in front of him. He glanced up towards the person and wasn't surprised to see Kisumi stand by the coffee machine with a small smile.

"The break's over, back to work." he said cheerfully, pretending not to notice the distressed expression Makoto wore.


	2. You just know

Fifteen years had passed since his first day here. Saying that he was happy about it was a lie. Saying he was relieved that he hadn't had a breakdown yet, was closer to the truth. He had gotten more used to it by now, but he was still anxious regardless of what soul he was assigned. He remembered every soul he encountered, and he wondered if he was the only one.

Since last week people at work had been bugging him, especially Kisumi, about the fact that he would finally find out about the other storage room.

As much as he wanted to act indifferent about it, he had been dying to know about what happened to all the other souls since he had first heard of it. He arrived early at the office and was surprised when he was met with none other than their boss Nagisa.

The short blonde man had been in their department the longest so it was no surprise that he was in charge of it. Like with Sousuke, Makoto knew very little of the man and had only seen him a few times, since he was usually locked up in his office. The man happily waved at Makoto and urged him to come closer to the locked storage room.

"Good morning Mako-chan." the blond said in a cheerful voice and Makoto was startled a bit. He hadn't expected the other to be so bold when greeting an employee, and for a moment Makoto didn't know how to respond. However, he didn't need to think about it as Nagisa took out a key from his pocket and put it into the lock of the door.

"Are you ready to find out what this room is for?" he prompted and gave a small glance towards Makoto, who found himself nodding. Without any further warning, the key was turned and the handle was pressed down and the door opened.

He should have known that it looked the same as the other storage room, but he was still mildly disappointed when he realised. To think he got worked up over a small thing like this. What was the difference?

Nagisa simply walked a few steps into the room and Makoto found himself following. He realised that there was something different, the air was more calm in here, but he didn't know why. Finally, the blonde man turned around, facing him as the door closed behind them.

"Now, I know what you're thinking, but let me explain this to you. They look the same, these rooms, but they're not. See that shelf over there? Take a closer look." Makoto frowned slightly, but did as he was told and leaned down to examine it. It looked completely ordinary, empty spots for some souls, filled spots with a glowing soul in it, all stacked up neatly. He looked back at his boss in confusion, but the other urged him to continue, so Makoto turned around again. He was just about to get up when he noticed something odd. Rather, two odd things. One was that the etiquettes only had a name. The other thing was-

"There are two names on every spot." on the same note too, he realised. When he turned around he was more than confused, and Nagisa looked happy to fill in on the missing information.

"That's right. You know how we say that we take care of souls until they seize to exist? Well, souls can't do that on their own." Nagisa took a step closer to Makoto and reached for one of the jars, 'Miho' written on it in elegant letters.

"Let me explain. When somebody are born for the first time without reincarnation, a soul is placed in them. However, a soul is too powerful to be held inside an infant and splits in two, on rarer cases more parts, even if it doesn't want to. The other part of the soul finds another infant. It can take days, and it can take years." Nagisa turned the jar around in his hand, as if examining it, before putting it back. He paused for a while, making sure that Makoto was listening, before he continued.

"In most cases, the souls find each other. Are you familiar with the term 'soulmates'?" Nagisa asked but Makoto just looked back at him in confusion. He had never heard of the term here in the office and couldn't remember if he had ever heard it before.

"It's a term that humans came up with a very long time ago. It's a deep connection you have with someone that is hard to explain. Of course it's actually based on fact. At their late teens humans soul tries to find it's other part. When the parts of the soul find each other, they are at peace. However, if they do not find each other the first lifetime, they will try again. More often than not because of our system, the souls aren't synced properly and sometimes both of them are waiting to be reborn at the same time."

"The souls we collect are more likely to want another chance on earth, but those we keep here waits, until the human with the other part of the soul decides to give up. When we let the two parts of the soul out of the jar, they merge and disappear. That's what this room is for." when the short man finished talking, he glanced at Makoto. The taller of them didn't know how to react, since it was a lot to take in.

"How do you know?" he asked after a while, breaking the silence for the first time.

"Which souls belong together you mean?" Nagisa asked and Makoto nodded. The blond man shrugged as he made his way to the door and opened it, letting Makoto pass first before he closed it behind them. He shrugged a bit before he locked it and placed the key in Makoto's hand.

"When you see the other part of the soul, you just know." he said before he walked away towards his office, leaving a distressed Makoto behind.

* * *

><p>"It wasn't what you expected, right?" Kisumi asked him calmly from across the table. They were currently sitting in the break room. The day had been unusually calm for both of them, whilst others were running around in the other room and seemed more stressed than usual. While neither he or Kisumi had any work to do yet, the other's seemed to be buried in it.<p>

"Not really. I didn't realise that such a thing existed." Makoto managed to say while looking at the key in his hand. Everyone had their own apparently, so they could easier access the room.

"It's really amazing you know, to see when the soul becomes whole again." Kisumi said with a small smile, even though he knew Makoto would never think that any part of his job was amazing. Kisumi didn't even wait for an answer before he started talking again.

"That's right, it's soon time for a new employee." he said and Makoto looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"Since you are the 'newest', you probably don't know. Every fifteen years or so, we get a new employee, to keep up our numbers." he explained to him and Makoto wondered what he meant. If they needed to keep up their numbers, did that mean that grim reapers could leave their jobs?

"Who?" he managed to ask after a while and Kisumi blinked at him in confusion.

"Who...? Oh, you mean if I know? Not really, since everyone does not accept it as easily as you and me. But we have a pattern at least." he took a sip of his coffee which must have been ice-cold by now, but his expression remained as cheerful as usual.

"Pattern?" Makoto asked again, feeling the need to concentrate on Kisumi's answer. If he knew why, then maybe he would find out why he was picked. Maybe even remember his life before this. The other man seemed to take his time and just as he was about to answer a man patted Makoto's shoulder and handed him some papers.

"Well, I guess that can wait. You should get some work done." Kisumi said as he stood up and put their mugs in the sink before he walked out of the small room with a wave. Before Makoto could stop him he was out of sight and the man, Seijurou he quickly noted, gave him a smile.

"Read the papers carefully, you have the honour of recruiting these people." he said and left too. There were more than ten different documents and all of them were under 25 years old and his usual anxiety increased.

If Makoto didn't know better he would call this hell.

* * *

><p>The six first ones had promptly said no and Makoto had almost relieved collected the souls and placed them in the one-of-two room, as he'd learned all of the others had nicknamed it. Just as he came back to his desk to take care of the seventh one, he noticed that the name sounded familiar. He quickly made his way to the scene and almost froze right on place.<p>

The man was crying on the floor, in a small room with only a bed and desk. In the dark Makoto couldn't quite make out his form, but his papers said that he had taken pills not too long ago and Makoto noticed after a while how the man's movement stilled. A couple of minutes passed before the room turned into a garden, the ground and trees covered in snow. The cold was not real but Makoto still found himself shivering slightly as the man suddenly turned around, as if just realising he was not alone and Makoto let out a pained gasp when he saw him.

The man's hair was a unique shade of red as was his eyes and there was no mistake that it was the same boy he had seen when he took care of Haruka's soul. The name had sounded familiar, because he had heard it before from the boys lips.

"You're Rin." Makoto let out in surprise and immediately wanted to punch himself for saying that out loud when he saw the man's reaction. He took a step back and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Who the fuck are you?" he yelled out before he seemed to remember something as he looked around them. He had no time to answer the rude question before Rin knelt down on with his hands gripping each side of his head and stared at the ground in front of him. Makoto knew that the other had fully realised what happened earlier as the red-headed started to swear to himself and Makoto wondered what Rin was thinking.

A few minutes passed like that. Makoto's arms had fallen to his sides when he had remembered that it wasn't cold and he silently waited for swearing man to calm down. Eventually, the red eyes focused on Makoto's feet and his gaze turned upwards to the taller brunettes face.

"I really did kill myself, didn't I." it wasn't a question, it was a statement but regardless of which Makoto nodded at him. He wondered what was going through the other's mind at the moment. Was he regretting it?

"Well, fuck." he mumbled to himself and a small sniffle escaped. Makoto was used to people crying but it was always heartbreaking to hear it. As he stood on a distance and waited for the other to calm down, not allowed to go near unless the other had made the decision, Rin started talking with a strained voice.

"My best friend died when we where kids, he drowned when I challenged him to a race. I didn't even know he was until I turned around and didn't see him any more." he took a deep breath and Makoto found himself do the same thing, not wanting to hear it again. It was bad enough that he had seen it himself seven years ago. Every death he saw caused him pain. However, he wasn't allowed to interrupt him and silently watched him with pained eyes as he continued.

"He was already dead when I got to him. I dragged him to the beach and nearly drowned myself, but he was not breathing. My dad died at sea too. My mom had said that it wasn't my fault, but who else's could it be?"

Makoto wanted to tune it out. He really did, just stop listening and then carry out his job like he was supposed to, but he couldn't. Something screamed at him to stand still and listen to the man and he reluctantly did.

"I started working as a lifeguard when I graduated. I didn't see any other profession that I wanted. It went fine for a while until a week ago." he took a shuddering breath, trying to calm himself but Makoto wouldn't blame him if he couldn't. "A kid drowned, I didn't notice until it was too late. He couldn't have been more than eight or nine years old. Fuck. He even looked like Haru, my friend. I tried to not think of it, but of course it was the only thing that I did." he paused yet again, but made no move to talk again.

Taking it as his cue to finally say something, Makoto opened his mouth.

"I'm really sorry, Rin. I took care of Haruka's soul and I don't think he blamed you at all." as soon as he had finished the sentence he had realized his mistake and Rin snapped his attention back to him and rose to his feet.

"'Took care of'? Is he here? I want to see him, no, I need to see him." the red-headed took a few steps towards him with a look of desperation.

"That's not possible." Makoto managed to say between Rin's questions while avoiding eye-contact, not wanting to see his nearly accusing eyes. "He will reincarnate in a matter of days, and we can't leave this place until you have chosen one of two options." he continued, but Rin looked at him stubbornly.

"What is that supposed to mean, 'two options', just take me to him. Please, I need to see him." Rin said frantically and took another step closer, making Makoto take a step back.

"I can't. None of your options is reincarnation. You have to choose between becoming a grim reaper or stop existing." Makoto realized how it sounded the moment the word left his lips.

"Why can't I choose reincarnation? What, I have to be what you are or just be erased? If I choose to be a grim reaper, then what? Can I see Haru then?" the red-headed glared at him fiercely.

He didn't know how to answer him, because truthfully he had never considered it. The only other time Makoto met people who weren't grim reapers where when their time was up. He knew that Rin wouldn't want to meet Haruka like that. Then again, he wouldn't remember who Haruka even was, would he? But even though the thought circled his head, he couldn't bring himself to lie to the other.

He was about to tell him that he couldn't change anything about it, so he wouldn't make the choice based on lies, but a flutter of the man's soul stopped his words before they reached his tongue. An ache in his chest that felt all too familiar appeared and something seemed to click into place as his boss's words echoed inside his head.

"_When you see the other part of the soul, you just know."_

The reason why Rin kept talking about Haruka was because they were soulmates. The other man didn't know it himself obviously, but his soul was more than aware of it. Makoto didn't even realize that Rin had gone quiet and was staring at him in confusion whilst he stared at the orb of light, but Makoto was now facing a whole new dilemma he hadn't ever considered.

What happened to the souls of grim reapers?

"Hey, are you okay?" Rin suddenly said in what sounded like concern, successfully making Makoto snap back to reality, or at least to the reality he knew of. His throat clogged up and if he had actually needed to breath he would have found himself unable to.

He realized with dread that he couldn't do it. He didn't wish anyone the job of a grim reaper and Rin wouldn't choose to disappear even if Makoto pleaded and the thought of Rin and Haruka's souls never being whole saddened him more than he even thought was possible.

"Rin." Makoto said sternly and straightened his back, feeling more determined than he could remember he'd ever been. "You want to be reincarnated, like Haruka?" he didn't need to ask the question because he knew that Rin would nod before he even saw it.

"I'll fix it. Choose between disappearing or being reborn, and I'll take care of all the consequences." he had no idea what kind of consequences he would face, but right now he saw a chance. A chance to stop Rin from making a decision he would regret every day.

Rin stood speechless for a second before his face lightened up in pure relief. He took a final step forward and wrapped his arms around Makoto who stiffened in place before he relaxed at the touch.

"Thank you, thank you." Rin nearly cried out as he hugged the taller one tighter. The hug lasted nearly a minute before Makoto gently pushed him away.

"You need to say it out loud, so the deal is sealed." he smiled at him and the other nodded as he repeated his wish. He carefully leaned to the other's forehead and pressed his lips against it , and when his body faded away and left only the glowing soul behind, Makoto could almost say that he felt at ease for once. The weight in his chest was still present but it didn't seem as heavy as before.

He had just reached the reincarnation room and placed Rin's jar on the spot where his name was written, when a hand grabbed his shoulder and roughly turned him around. An involuntary yelp escaped from his lips in surprise and he almost lost his footing but managed to stay upright. The action itself had shocked him but not as much as the angry face of Sousuke he was met by.

"What were you thinking?" Sousuke growled at him and Makoto didn't even dare to pretend that he didn't know what the taller man was talking about.

"I did what I felt was right." he tried to say calmly but his voice wavered as the answer seemed to enrage Sousuke even more.

"You're supposed to do your job! You don't question the decisions made by the higher-ups and you don't give people other choices! Do you have any idea what you've done?!" he yelled now and Makoto couldn't back up any more, already pressed against the shelf with his furious coworker in front of him. Of course he knew that the rules were made for a reason and he had no right to change anything. He had known that and still did it.

However, he couldn't find any words that could justify his decision and could only weakly shake his head at the question, suddenly feeling way too small in the other's presence. After a few seconds of silence, Sousuke seemed to realise something and suddenly backed off, still with an angry scowl but more composed than before. However, Makoto didn't dare to open his mouth yet and the taller man let out a frustrated huff.

"I'll show you instead." Sousuke eventually said and walked towards the door and Makoto found himself following, too stirred up to even protest. As soon as he walked out the door, he nearly bumped into someone.

"Sorry! I didn't see you there!" a female voice said and Makoto looked down just in time to see a young girl with vibrant red hair being led by Seijurou, who looked at him with a frown before disappearing behind a wall. Makoto had no memory of ever seeing her before and before he could turn to ask Sousuke the older had already beaten him to it.

"That's our newest employee. Her name's Gou and she was seventeen." Makoto turned to look at Sousuke in confusion, because her name hadn't been in any of his papers, but the other avoided his eyes. "She was supposed to live to be 94 years old, but because you changed Rin's options, the higher-ups set her up in a car crash. Quick, effective. Thanks to you, she didn't get any choice and was immediately assigned as a reaper. She was also Rin's sister, not that it matters now, because she doesn't know any of this." finally Sousuke's eyes met his, but the relief he had felt earlier this day had been consumed by a new-found guilt, and the judging teal-blue eyes only worsened it.

"Rin's time was out, her time was far from it. Remember every time you look at that girl, that this was entirely your fault. Every other soul's choices is something you can't control, but this one is all on your conscience." he muttered in a dark voice and started to walk away from Makoto without a second glance.

Makoto had had a gnawing feeling in the back of his head as he had promised Rin that he would take care of the consequences, but he now knew that this was something he hadn't been prepared for.

For the first time in fifteen years, Makoto felt more than empty. As the others words sunk in like sharp daggers, he felt a tiny tear escape his eye, then another one, and another one.

For the first time in his fifteen years of being a grim reaper, in the middle of the empty corridor, Makoto finally broke down and cried.


End file.
